I’ve spent much of this past week immersed in Dolly Parton.
When someone as special as Dolly passes on, news and social media fill with musical tributes, interview clips and personal stories. I already knew about her rise from poverty in Appalachia and her extraordinary gifts as a songwriter, singer, actress and businesswoman. I was also familiar with her Imagination Library, which has sent more than 300 million books to young children around the world.
But it was the smaller stories that caught my attention.
When Elvis Presley wanted to record “I Will Always Love You,” Dolly refused to give up half the publishing rights—even though walking away from Elvis was an enormous risk for a young songwriter. Decades later, when Whitney Houston’s magnificent recording of the song became a worldwide success, Dolly invested some of the royalties in a predominantly Black neighborhood in Nashville.
In 2020, she donated $1 million to Vanderbilt University Medical Center for COVID-19 research—funding that helped support the development of Moderna’s vaccine.
These are only a few examples. But Dolly’s choices—and the countless clips of her singing, laughing and talking about her life—have deeply inspired me. Among many other things, she was a shining example of the power of the resilient mindset of Choice.
Dolly chose an iconic style for herself, one that defied many of the norms of her time. She famously based her look on the woman her hometown called “the town tramp.” She disarmed criticism with humor: “It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.” And, “I may look fake, but I’m real where it counts.”
What might have been off-putting became endearing. Her delight in being fully herself drew us all into the Dolly circle.
She also chose to give generously. “I was just trying to put my money where my heart is,” she explained. In 2021, she told People, “I’m kind of addicted to the feeling of giving. Knowing that I’m doing something good for someone else.”
By grounding her choices—in music, business, fashion and caring for others—in her deepest values, Dolly lived with remarkable authenticity and joy. She radiated charisma, and people wanted to be with her and near her.
Her powerful example of courageous, values-aligned choice has become a reminder for me:
- When I encounter obstacles in my work, I remember how she successfully navigated a music industry controlled largely by men.
- When I feel the weight of responsibility on my shoulders, I remember how she built businesses that created livelihoods for thousands of people.
- When I’m frustrated by the actions of those around me, I remember the humor and kindness with which she responded to foolish—and sometimes cruel—questions.
Without ever naming it, Dolly embodied so much of the We Are Resilient™ approach.She demonstrated its mindsets and practiced its Centering, Connecting and Collaborating skills. She extended grace to other people’s Protective and Cultural Patterns—rarely judging people for their differences and finding ways to love them anyway.
Dolly showed us what becoming a fuller, braver and more generous version of ourselves can look like.
Perhaps that is one reason I care so deeply about introducing this approach to others. We can’t give people Dolly’s singular gifts. But we can help all of us more fully tap into some of the same capacities she lived so beautifully: the courage to be ourselves, the strength to choose according to our values and the ability to use what we have in service of others.
Thank you, Dolly!
Warmly,
Meri and the Dovetail Learning team