I love the holidays — the spirit of giving, good cheer, family, and the joy of connecting. Holidays, though, can bring out the best and the worst in me.
It can be very hectic in my house when the family comes for the holidays! It feels like a small house when 8 more people and 2 cats arrive (4 grandkids under age ten + four parents pulled by their kids and the stress they carry in life). We are pretty much on top of each other all the time, especially when it rains! I love it, but even now, I can feel the tension starting to build as my wife, Sandy, and I begin preparations for our family — get the back steps painted before everyone arrives, food shopping, holiday lights, staying on track with work … Wait! Did we order those gifts for the grandkids yet?
Today, we got off track with too little sleep last night. I missed my morning run and meditation. My aikido class was canceled because my sensei had a Covid scare. Sandy and I started bickering when I had my head in my computer and she needed some help getting ready for her day. Ouch! I got snarly with the person I love more than anything! Isn’t that exactly how it goes sometimes?
Practicing resilience is a life saver!
When I go off-center, I look for a Resilience Centering Skill to bring me back into balance. For me, I need personal time to stay centered. At Dovetail, we call that Nurturing Myself. What are the commitments and boundaries that help me take care of myself so I can be present to everyone I love? Today, I stepped away from my work to take a walk in the backyard and cut some flowers for my sweetheart.
Thinking ahead to what I need over the holidays is anticipatory resilience! What do I need to anticipate in order to Nurture Myself? I will double down on my morning meditation. I plan to take a favorite hike on the coast. I’ll also ask my kids and grandkids to do their own thing one evening so Sandy and I can go out with close friends.
What can you anticipate doing for Nurturing Yourself during the upcoming holidays?
Chuck and the Dovetail Learning team