When life is at its hardest, it is easy to fall into Reactive Resilience and let our Protective Patterns take over. The last two weeks have been nothing short of hard. My mother passed away suddenly from a very aggressive cancer. No one knew she was sick, not even her. I am proud to share that I could stay Centered and not let my Protective Pattern of Attacking take over.
All of the Centering Skills helped, but I found inner strength by focusing on the Positive Reframing skill. By practicing this skill, I could really “see” my cousin, whom I had not physically seen in years, sitting at my mom’s bedside with nothing but love in her heart, and it melted years of tension due to very different political views. I saw my sister’s power and resolve amidst the swirling chaos of losing a parent and felt pride as she navigated all the moving parts. I was able to find a sliver of peace while talking with my mom about the end of her life and saw the beauty in her acceptance of the situation.
The Positive Reframing skill does not mean seeing an awful situation as good. But instead, it is a skill to help adjust our perspective. When we can find the positive even in the worst of times, it is easier to be Centered. When we are Centered, we can process the tough emotions and notice what we need more fully.
I contemplated not sharing this intimate moment of my life and decided that it was worth it if my words helped even one person through a challenging situation. So hug your loved ones a little tighter, find the beauty even amidst the pain, and remember We Are Resilient.