My husband and I were riding our bikes down the leaf-strewn path when suddenly, wham! My husband’s bike got stuck in a hidden groove, he fell in the path right in front of me, and I flew over him and landed with a big hit to my head. Ouch!! After sitting there for a few moments to assess the damage, we realized that while we had sore arms, legs, and heads, and a few cracks in my helmet, we had no broken bones.
Whenever we have this type of BIG BUMP in our lives, the We Are Resilient™ approach is especially valuable. With several mindsets and skills to guide me, I could refrain from using my Protective Pattern of Attacking that might have dented our relationship. In the past, I might have yelled at my husband, “Why weren’t you being more careful? We could have been really hurt!” While that was true, it wouldn’t have helped. Instead, I used my Centering Skills.
Since it is my “go-to” Centering Skill, I was able to use Finding Gratitude right away. While it would take us a few days to recover, we were not hurt badly, and I was very grateful for that. I then moved to my Nurturing Myself skill. I called a friend to pick us up, called a doctor for advice, and accepted my friend’s offer of dinner delivered so I could focus on resting. While my head remained sore for a few days, I felt good that the Resilient Mindset of Choice helped me make the best choices for myself during this challenge.
By that evening, I found the Centering Skill of Positive Reframing helpful. Over the last few years, my husband has become less careful in his bike riding. If this episode prevented him from taking future risky behavior with permanent consequences, it would be worth it. Two days later, I realized that the Collaborating Skill of Seeking Agreements could be beneficial. He and I sat down and agreed on a list of parameters around his future bike riding, such as reduced riding at twilight. Seeking Agreements helps reduce conflict as we get on the same page, and it felt like an excellent way to use the pain of the bike accident for a good purpose.
Many of the bumps we experience in life will have longer impacts than this bike incident. Regardless, bumps will come, and practicing the We Are Resilient Skills and Mindsets will make us more prepared to handle them feeling centered and connected.
What Mindset or Skill would be helpful for you to practice today?
With Resilience,
Meri and the Dovetail Learning team