It Can Help You, Too!
For many of us, the holiday season can be a maze of joyous times with family and friends but also conflicting expectations, outsized accumulating traditions, and unexpected grief. My December needs a big stamp on the calendar:

I know I am not alone. I remember my mother always had a mini-breakdown during December, and many of my friends reported their moms did, too. I vowed not to have the same holiday-crushing spirit happen to me, but it did—for far too many years, as my family will attest.
Fortunately, for the last few years, the We Are Resilient approach has helped me use “anticipatory resilience.” This year, I can happily report I have not (yet) wanted to cancel the holidays and hide in my bed. 🤣 My joyous times have actually outweighed my times of feeling overwhelmed! The Resilient Mindset of Choice is my most important tool in this seismic shift.
Every time I wake up feeling overwhelmed by my to-do list, even before I start my day, I remind myself that I have choices.
- I choose to make and write Christmas cards. I could also choose not to.
- I choose to create special Christmas gifts for my family. I could also choose not to.
- I chose to bake special treats for family and friends. I could also choose not to.
- I chose to attend holiday concerts and special events. I could also choose not to.
- I chose to vacation over the holidays with my extended family. I could also choose not to.
Knowing that all these decisions are my choice and that “I could also choose not to” is the mantra that helps me create a holiday season that works for me. Yes, others might be disappointed if I change my mind, but it is still all my choice. Nobody wants a warn-out, exhausted mom, wife, friend, or colleague, and I have finally realized that I need to say no to some holiday choices. I vet each item on my to-do list—often, many times in a single holiday season. Will this bring me joy? Do I have the time, energy, and finances to do this this year—or should I shelve it for a future holiday season?
How can the Resilient Mindset of Choice help you this holiday season?
May your holidays be filled with resilience!
Meri, Kristie, Emily, Chuck, and the Dovetail Team
P.S. Struggling with stress, the holidays, or other issues? Join the conversation in our supportive community!