Love – Heart – Courage – Compassion
This morning, like many mornings, I was sitting in meditation and listening in into my heart, to the seat of my being. I noticed I was feeling both sad and glad. The sadness came first, as a powerful feeling. I was feeling sad about my friend, who compulsively uses alcohol and thus is alcoholic. (I don’t think of him as “an” alcoholic because for me that would objectify him and that’s the last thing I want to do.) But underneath I also noticed a strong feeling of gladness, because I love him so much. He is an amazing person—a lifelong nurse, intuitive healer, and warm-hearted, generous caring friend. I am grateful to have him in my life.
I have used alcohol, from time to time over the course of my life, and for quite a while during the COVID quarantine in 2020. When the world was on a tilt, I was definitely drinking to numb my emotions. With pandemic fear gripping me, my norms became isolating myself, wiping down the mail, washing vegetables with antiseptic, and drinking more alcohol than was good for me. I recognize that my friend also drinks to numb himself. His very difficult life has brought him lifetime of pain—physical, emotional, and spiritual.
I recently used my Resilient Mindset of Courage when speaking with him. Courage comes from the Latin “cor” meaning heart. When I rest in my heart, I always find love.
“Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of love.
It will not lead you astray.” ~ Rumi.
I love my friend deeply. I feel for him, I understand him, I care deeply about him, and I have compassion for him (and his family). For me, the Resilient Mindset of Courage brings me emotional strength. The strength to follow my heart and do what is right, even when I think it might be hard. When I saw him recently, I needed my Courage to have a difficult conversation with him about caring, healing, and alcohol. I also relied on my Connecting Skill of Speaking Authentically. At first, I felt scared to have a real conversation about his needs. I was afraid he would get mad, push me away, and it would hurt our relationship. But when I opened to the love in my heart, my fear melted away and I was free to be open, kind, authentic, and real. In Courage there are no difficult conversations, only conversations for love’s sake. It made all the difference!
Might you have a difficult conversation waiting to happen? Perhaps try the essence of Courage, cor, to feel the love in your heart to be the person you most want to be for your friend.
Chuck and the Dovetail Team