Grief is a funny thing. One minute, I am out on a nice walk with my dog, and the next, a thought drops into my heart out of nowhere: my parents never got to meet Bennie or Aurelia (my dogs). And then come the tears. Not from my relentless allergies, but from that familiar wave of sadness and all the moments they have missed.
We lost one of my father-in-laws first, then my dad, and then my mom. Since then, there have been so many milestones they were not here to see. Promotions at work. Buying our first house. Our oldest child graduating from high school. Even the small things, like a new TV show, I know my mom and I would have loved to talk about together. Grief has a way of showing up in both the biggest life moments and the quietest, most ordinary ones.
But after I let myself feel that sadness, I find myself returning to something else too: a deep reminder of how valuable time really is. Three of my four in-laws are still here, and I get to cherish that time. My youngest son will soon be moving out and heading to college, and I get to be present for this season. There is a quiet reframe in that for me. I want to say yes to the cup of coffee on the porch, to the extra few minutes of conversation, to the random text, soaking up a gorgeous sunset, to all the everyday joys that are easy to miss when life feels rushed. Loss keeps teaching me to hold the present moment with more tenderness and to value the people, experiences, and everyday moments that are here right now.
The idea of grief as the love we never got to share has stayed with me because it feels so true. It helps me make space for my feelings, honor what I got to share with the people we have lost, and more fully embrace what I still get to share with those who are here.
So I once again invite you to ask: What if, instead of seeing grief as something broken, we saw it as love that still remains?
With Resilience,
Kristie and the Dovetail Team
P.S. If grief is feeling especially heavy right now, please reach out for support. You do not have to carry it alone. I did not walk through my own grief alone either, and I am so grateful for the support I had. You can connect with a trusted person, a counselor, or a local grief support group. If you are in immediate emotional distress, call or text 988 for free, confidential support anytime.