Heartfelt Connection and Resilience
Even as a ten-year-old girl, I was drawn to politics—a big topic for a young mind. I remember reading biographies about political leaders and tuning in to the constant news flow in my home. It was the height of the Gulf War, and I was full of questions about what the “all-knowing” adults on TV were talking about, trying to understand the complex world they narrated.
My early curiosity set me on a lifelong journey of political awareness and led to many lively discussions with my own children about the importance of voting, our government system, and how it all interconnects. Today, though, the current climate feels more divided than ever. It seems we’re not just debating policy—we are often judging each other’s very character.
Recently, at a family dinner, we started talking about the current election, and despite most of us holding similar political beliefs, the conversation became heated and divisive. I could feel my Protective Pattern of Attacking wanting to rear its head. However, unlike other times this had happened, I paused and used the Centering Skills of Noticing Myself and Breathing Mindfully. This helped me shift from being reactive to seeing my loved ones as more than just their opinions on who should win an election—I could see them as whole people whom I love dearly.
In moments like these, I know that our Cultural Patterns can sometimes lead us to “other” each other, yet they also offer us a path to empathy and connection. After Centering myself, I was also then able to embrace the Connecting Skills of Heartfelt Listening, Empathizing, and Choosing Kindness. Using the Connecting Skills, I could hear why other people held their beliefs and acknowledge that it is OK for us to disagree and still love each other. We can remember that when life throws its challenges our way, it isn’t about who we vote for but who we are. If I saw someone in need, I’d stop and help them, regardless of their beliefs. That’s the heart of resilience and the unity we all share.
Many of the policies being debated now are undeniably divisive. But to bridge the widening gap in our families, communities, and country, we must return to conversing with one another, not retreating further apart. By using Heartfelt Listening, finding shared values, and holding respectful space for our differences, we can start to mend the fractures and remember that we’re all in this together.
With resilience,
Kristie and the Dovetail team
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