A few weeks ago, I hurt my back. I’ve had back issues before, but not in a long time—and this felt different. My doctor diagnosed it as a muscle strain and prescribed the usual: ice, heat, rest, and painkillers. She also suggested I stop doing whatever had caused the strain.
Unfortunately, it took me several weeks—and repeated reinjury (plus some wise advice from my daughter)—to realize that the very exercises I had started to strengthen my back were actually injuring it. Turns out, my squat technique was terrible.
Isn’t that the way life goes sometimes? We move forward, armed with complete confidence but incomplete information, only to find ourselves stuck or hurting. While it was easy enough to stop doing squats, it was much harder to adjust all the small, everyday ways I move through life to give my back the care it was screaming for.
A very human problem. We tend to hold tightly to what has worked for us in the past—even when it’s no longer what we need. Often, it takes discomfort—or even pain—for us to recognize that our current skills may not be enough for the next stage of life, whether that’s in our exercise routine, our work, our relationships, or our role as parents.
Honestly, this is when I’m especially grateful for the ways I’ve been upskilling through our We Are Resilient training. With a bit of reflection, I can usually identify the mindset or skill that might help. In this case, it was Seeking Agreements.
Normally, I resist my husband telling me how to take care of myself. But I realized I needed support—gentle reminders about what might help in the moment. Should I ice it now? Use the massage ball? Take my medication? So I intentionally asked for his help—which he was more than happy to give. And something shifted. Instead of slipping into Defending, I found myself feeling grateful. I made better choices for my healing—and felt more connected in the process. I’m on the road to feeling better.
It’s a simple thing, but inviting others to help us care for ourselves can be deeply nurturing. It supports both our well-being and our relationships.
Where might you need a little more support in nurturing yourself?
Warmly,
Meri and the Dovetail Learning team
P.S. See our resource pages to learn more about Seeking Agreements and Nurturing Myself!