I just returned from a women’s retreat focused on Radical Self-Love. For four days, I shared a beach house with six amazing, inspiring women. Together, we were deep in discovery, community, tears, laughter, food, vulnerability, sisterhood, and so much love. My heart and brain are so full that I couldn’t seem to put into my own words exactly what I wanted to share. As I sat in that frustration and “stuck,” I noticed that there’s a part of me that thinks I can’t write. In the past, I would just avoid writing. As I noticed this, I courageously shared my noticing with a friend, who suggested that I think about my past experiences with writing.

In middle school, we learned how to write a research paper in a very scripted way: outline, flash cards, thesis, supporting details… you get the idea. Aha! I figured out that I have always thought that I need all that in order to start to write, so I get stuck thinking I’m not a writer. I hadn’t pushed through that stuck because I didn’t know it was there. This Radical Self-Love work is about knowing and sitting with—and loving—all the parts of me. This knowing comes from noticing myself and being okay with my emotions as they arise.

Wow. Knowing = noticing! This awareness—that all of the parts of me are okay and that I have impeccable reasons for being who I am—gives me the grace to sit with the stuck and realize I can find order and organization later. The words will come out, just maybe not in order, or with flash cards.

The question that we are learning to ask ourselves is, “How can I practice Radical Self-Love in this moment?” For me today, the answer is to just write. To be perfectly imperfect, to use run-on sentences, and to just say what needs to be said, however it pours out. And refine the mess later.

Today’s mess included frustrations, tears, writing, rewriting, deleting, and even more growing. And leaning on my team. Hey, I’m a writer! Who knew? Writing is hard. And vulnerable. And the stories we tell lead us—and perhaps our readers—to a deeper knowing and loving, and that’s cool.

I’ve realized I’m on a journey inward to myself. To a deeper knowing, and a Radical Self-Love practice. How can you practice Radical Self-Love today?

With resilience, 

Emily, and the Dovetail Team

Check out the skills Emily is using:
Resilient Mindset of Curiosity
Centering Skills of Noticing Myself and Nurturing Myself